We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
