I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
