There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
