this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize