I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
