dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
