if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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