i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
