Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
try to milk me bitch
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
