Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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