I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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