the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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