There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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