I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
