My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
