Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
