you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
