Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
pray to the hookup gods
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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