One girl and one boy is just not enough.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
