i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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