So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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