dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
