There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
