Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
