Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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