I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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