I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize