I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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