Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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