Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
