Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Reggie can tackle my bush.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
