She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
