just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
