Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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