he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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