You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
