I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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