I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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