She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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