also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
