he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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