drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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