It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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