absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
