'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
