Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
