Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
