I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
