your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
