I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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