so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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