i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
