Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize