A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize