my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
