Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
