i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
