Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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