do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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