My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
wow bdsm is so cute
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize