p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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