I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Nobody cheats on THIS.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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