sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
