garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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