How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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