He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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