I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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