her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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