lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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