Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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