Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
