I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
