I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize