i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My feet surprised me
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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