No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize