Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
