i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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