Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
