It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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